


Spy Shenanigans

by whitedandelions



Category: I Need More Intel: Is That Hot Guy Gay? (CollegeHumor Originals)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 17:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17063729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitedandelions/pseuds/whitedandelions
Summary: He looked up Zac himself, despite his not so good computer skills, and Zac doesn’t have a Grindr.  He doesn’t post shirtless selfies on Instagram (when he really should, Grant’s seen Zac in the locker room, okay, he can be a spy if he wanted to) and he wears like regular underwear.  Not the special kind.  Not Andrew Christian underwear, and definitely white, not pink.





	Spy Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liviania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liviania/gifts).



> Wow! Thank you so much for requesting this fandom, I was so excited for it when I saw it in the tagset. I tried to write a story about a silly spy gadget, so hopefully you enjoy. Happy Yuletide! :D

So maybe he’s a little mad.  He can’t help it.  He’s basically thrown himself out there, with every intention of getting this guy’s attention, and instead this – this total tool (that he was totally interested in before, but Grant’s conveniently not thinking about that) touched _his_ Zac’s hair.

Please, no one gets to touch Zac’s hair but him.  Zac’s _his_ handler, and okay, Grant has low standards, so he’s pretty okay with saying that guy is no good for his Zac.

Not even minding the fact that Zac is not gay, and yes, Grant is pretty sure about this.  Of course, he hadn’t asked Zac to look it up for him, because hello, how awkward would that be?  He looked up Zac himself, despite his not so good computer skills, and Zac doesn’t have a Grindr.  He doesn’t post shirtless selfies on Instagram (when he really should, Grant’s seen Zac in the locker room, okay, he can be a spy if he wanted to) and he wears like regular underwear.  Not the special kind.  Not Andrew Christian underwear, and definitely white, not pink.  And he’s dated women before, not that he is currently, but well, the point still stands, Zac is not gay.

And if he was!  If he was, then Zac would definitely be all over him and Zac definitely is not all over him, sadly, and so Grant is one hundred percent sure that Zac isn’t gay.

Which sucks.

He sulks all the way back to the van, enough so that Zac looks startled when he thrusts the USB drive at him. 

“Didn’t see you get back,” says Zac, and Grant huffs.

“Of course not,” he says, not charitably at all, and makes his way to the front of the van.  He sets the van to auto-drive them back to their headquarters, and then flops down onto the beanbag in the back, watching as Zac starts to type furiously as the usb whirrs and clicks as the data’s downloaded. 

He pulls out the device he had been given earlier, some lipstick that he had commissioned from the Research department.  They had argued with him for hours, saying that it was going to be utterly _useless_ , but once he submitted it to their boss, the application was promptly approved, so really, who was the smarter one of the bunch? 

He idly swipes the lipstick onto his palm, watching as the color turns a dark maroon.  The color makes him smile, and then he draws a happy face, watching as the colors shift from bright pink to maroon.

When he looks up, Zac’s watching him.

“Are you still mad?” asks Zac, sounding a bit exasperated, and Grant can’t help it, he makes a face at him.  “Real mature,” is Zac’s response, and Grant huffs, and that’s the end of their conversation for the night.

* * *

“You’re going to have to talk to me eventually,” Zac says into their headpiece, and Grant knows the silent treatment shouldn’t last into another mission, but Grant’s never been one to put work first.

So he ignores Zac’s frustrated sigh, and instead makes conversation with the handsome man sitting next to him.  He wants to ask Zac for info on his social media, but he refrains, instead flirting outrageously in hopes he can find out that way.  He’s never been really good at telling in person – that’s why he relies so heavily on Zac’s assistance – but he’s such in a limbo over Zac that he doesn’t really care if he gets it wrong or not.

Surprisingly, Zac’s voice comes in again.  “Looked him up on Facebook,” he says, quietly, “and it says he’s interested in men.  So no need for your hysterics again, okay?”

He feels guilt for a brief second, but then he remembers he’s still not talking to Zac, so he ignores it, and then closes his mouth.  The sudden realization that this might go somewhere makes him pause, because he knows he’s crushing hard on Zac, and to go home with this guy while he’s still mad with Zac feels weird.

“Sorry,” he says, even though the man’s completely his type with his hair and his blue eyes, and walks away.  He finds the target, alone as he knew he was going to find him, and shoots him point blank.  He knows Zac is watching through his glasses, so he doesn’t say “Geronimo” and instead just holsters his gun and leaves the party.

“Look,” says Zac, when he throws the van door open, “I thought you wanted to know.  Like as an apology for last time.”

“For when you made the guy fall for you?” he spits out before he can stop himself, and Zac looks surprised.  “Not that he can help it,” he continues, and then angrily makes his way into the van, shutting it violently behind him.  “We always fall for the straight guys.”

“What?” asks Zac, sounding lost, but Grant ignores it, flopping angrily down onto the beanbag once more. 

Grant pulls out the lipstick once more, a different prototype this time, and the silence feels oppressive as Zac makes his way to the front of the van to set it on auto-drive once more.  He wonders if it’s going to be like this for the next few missions, when Zac sits down in front of him.

He looks determined.  “What’s the lipstick do?”

“You don’t need to know,” he shoots back, a little snippily, and Zac frowns at him.  “It’s classified,” he amends his words, because even he can’t take Zac’s unhappy face, and Zac holds out his hand.

“Let me see,” he says, and Grant shakes his head.

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Please,” says Zac, “I was trained for combat, just like you.  And I’ve seen you with it, I know it isn’t lasers or anything.”

“How would you know?” he asks, a bit offended, and Zac rolls his eyes.

“I know you asked for this because the R&D guys complained for it at the bar for weeks.  So I’m pretty sure it’s not for combat.”

He still doesn’t want to hand it over, and he knows Zac realizes this, so he’s not very surprised when Zac launches himself at him, both of them wrestling for the small lipstick tube.  He loses, because Zac’s all over him, and how can a man concentrate when the love of his love is pressed up against him?

Zac’s triumphant when he finally holds the lipstick tube up.  He’s still straddling Zac when he pops the lipstick open and he swipes it across his palm.

Bright pink.

They both stare at the color, and Grant’s heart sinks as it steadfastly does not change to the comforting dark maroon color.

“Uh,” starts Grant, but Zac cuts him off.

“I’m bisexual, idiot,” is what he says, and he pulls Grant up for a bruising kiss.

It lasts for all of a minute, and is really rather awesome, before Grant pulls away, his eyes wide.  “What?”

“Okay, did I read it wrong?” asks Zac, and he looks worried.  “Because I thought you were jealous of the other dude, not –“

“No,” he interrupts Zac before he could go on, “I was definitely jealous of the other guy.  I mean, it’s just, I thought you were straight and I crushed on you since like, since we were put together, and you’re blowing my mind right now, okay?”

“Why didn’t you just ask?”

“And look like I’m hitting on you?” he asks, in aghast horror, and Zac laughs. 

 “It was really hard to tell you liked me at all when you kept hitting on random dudes during our missions,” he says.

“That was the point,” he says.   “I didn’t want you to break up our partnership.”

“Our relationship,” interjects Zac.  He pointedly intertwines his hand with Grant, and Grant’s heart does a little happy dance.

“Boyfriends?” he asks, and Zac grins.

“No hitting on other guys during any missions, okay?”

That’s an easy concession to make, especially since this means Zac is _his,_ and is only briefly surprised when Zac pockets the lipstick.

“Which means you won’t be needing this,” he says, “because _I’m_ the only one for you.”

He marvels at this, because Zac’s obviously jealous, and he wonders briefly if this means that Zac’s been jealous every single time he’s hit on the many other guys during their missions. 

Zac narrows his eyes at him, and Grant only has a second to wonder how mad the R&D guys would be now that he won’t be using the lipstick they designed for him to tell someone’s sexuality, before Zac is pulling him in for another long awaited kiss.


End file.
